Never work with children or animals.

Yesterday I had a super day, the kind of day when I only nearly cried once, made a dinner from scratch and kept the house from looking like a squatter’s den. Today is definitely not going the same way.

My son, aka the blue eye fog-horn is exercising  his lungs like a pro this morning, if fact if there was an Olympic medal for screaming the place down I’m quite sure he’d win. Now he only got up twice last night, which some might think gives me every reason to feel smug. However after his four fifteen feed William wouldn’t go back to sleep. When baby ain’t sleeping, mamma ain’t sleeping. So I’m not feeling particularly joyful this morning as the fog horn was up just before 7 and has been making himself heard since. This coupled with the current plumbing situation, whereby every time a water outlet is used in this house it sounds like a large ship is coming into harbour you have one very grumpy mum in need of ear plugs.

The animals: Yesterday’s domestic godessness was almost shattered by my two house panthers. During the night feed Marmite was trying to catch a mouse in the living room (a mouse she had brought into the house) thankfully she caught it and took it outside, a few weeks ago she ate one in front of me and William.  In the morning as the foghorn was laying on my bed Captain decided it could be a good idea to lick his head. Wrestling a cat is not a fun way to start the day but I’ve seen some of the places that tongue has been, I don’t want it on my baby’s head! Then after making meatballs and leaving them to  cool (I made the meatballs, not the cats) Marmite managed to eat two of them. I was only in the next room but she’s a stealthy little git. (That’s when I nearly cried) I then watched both cats coordinate efforts in order to commit murder. There is the body of a large rat and a small bird on my lawn. I suspect this will cause at least one of them to throw their food up on my carpet. Knowing I was furious with her Marmite didn’t enter the house again until hubs got home, and lavished him with affection. (The tart).

So in short yesterday cats bad, baby good. Today I fear all three are off the wagon. William hasn’t settled and I’ve seen the cats staring into a hole by next door’s fence which I suspect they are going to try and use as a means to liberate either a chicken or rabbit in a game of ‘Let’s brutally murder something.’


In other news:

My son has only just stopped crying, I sneezed, he began screaming again. Captain went all wide eyed with concern and rushed over to peek in the Moses basket. Satisfied the baby was okay, he went back to eating Marmite’s biscuits. (God forbid either of them eat their own food.)

We have a plumber coming to check out the noisy pipes. If he fails to return like the last one, I will hunt him down ‘Taken’ style.

My husband brought me Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I am over the moon and looking forward to reading it, I reckon I’ll have time when William starts school.



Author: thebumpchroniclesblog

Thirty year old first time mum, sharing parenthood experiences/fails.

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