Well tonight was nice. I’m currently on maternity leave but tonight was the leaving do of our Chief Executive. Leaving William in the more than capable hands of daddy I washed my hair, donned my pulley in pants, applied make-up and set off to the venue.
It felt so lovely to see colleagues and attack the buffet and drink sweet alcohol. I was out! At a party, with grown ups. But one thing was very different to everytime I’ve been out before….
Now I’m a mummy.
I loved being out dancing and chatting to friends but William was never far from my mind. I missed him. I feel lonely sometimes, on the days I don’t see people. Some days we go to the park with other mummies or we see grandparents or aunties. But other days we are at home with no phoncalls or visitors and I can feel lonely. Today I looked forward to my evening. But the whole time I was there I felt like part of me was missing. I missed my son.
I have a son!
I have often thought of myself as a selfish person. And I genuinely worried that my selfishness would affect how I was as a mother. But (and I really don’t want to sound clichéd here) the love I feel for that wee bundle trumps everything. It magnified the love I have for my husband, and our son is my world.
So tonight was different from before. When hubs picked me up I had to peek at Wills in the back. I kissed him goodnight (he was wearing his dinosaur onsie) stroked his head and went downstairs content that I am home and with him. I am a mummy now. That changes EVERYTHING.
In other news:
Sir Legsalot seems to have found himself a wifey.
Ginormo spider with no name has been caught and released. Apparently he had mates…
William is sleeping through. Captain is waking me up with his revolting cat-breath and insistence on licking my face.