The great ‘to mum or not to mum’ debate.

I don’t  t know whether or not I being sensitive but recently I’ve noticed a lot of social media articles about women who choose not to have children. What I find upsettingis that in order to validate not wanting children, woman who do are often insulted.

So before I get into it, I’ll just get my opinion out there: Whether  you want or do not want children is none of my business. I don’t think less of people on the grounds of wether or not they reproduce. I think less of them if they’re arseholes.

Years ago, I had a friend tell me that she didn’t particularly want children, and that she probably won’t have them. What I found baffling was that I think she was genuinely worried I’d think less of her.

If you’ve noticed articles tend to justify not wanting children by giving reasons such as: You’ll have more freedom/money, you’ll have an amazing career and won’t be contributing to the overpopulation/general demise of the planet.

Why are women who choose to have children made to feel that they are less aspirational? That they are selfishly destroying the planet? Why should one choice be better than another, why can’t it be accepted as a personal choice?

It’s true, the love I feel for our son is different to anything I’ve felt before. Would I recommend someone have a child to feel that love? Good lordy no! Would I patronise someone by telling them ‘You don’t know love until you’ve had a baby’, no. Am I going to ask a couple ‘So when are you going to have kids?’ No, because (and I can’t stress this enough) I don’t care who is reproducing and who isn’t. I find the notion of such enquiries baffling. It’s not socially acceptable to ask a couple if they are having lots of sex so why is it acceptable to ask if they’re trying for a baby? (Lots of sex and laying with your legs in the air for about ten minutes afterwards.)

To summarise:

Women who don’t want children are not scaly demons.

Women who do want children aren’t  low-aspirational ovaries on legs, content with a life time of cardis covered in sick.

Why can’t we just be nice to each other?


In other news:

Marms has taken to throwing up on the carpet daily.

Wills threw up all over himself and me at baby weigh. (He also coughed as I was desperately mopping up chunder and got sick all over my face. In my panic to resemble a mum in control of the situation I didn’t realise I was cleaning him up with his top that I’d removed to get him ready for the scales.)

First family holibobs looms. Should be interesting…






Author: thebumpchroniclesblog

Thirty year old first time mum, sharing parenthood experiences/fails.

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