I am currently sat STARVING waiting for two sodding hours after drinking a disgusting volume of glucose to check to see if I have gestational diabetes.
I could save them some time, I tried to save them some time by telling them I don’t have gestational diabetes, but hey what do I know?
I have fasted for this. I’m so hangry I nearly legged up the selfish twat who walked past me EATING A BAG OF CRISPS. Does he not know there is a hungry mama here?
Last time I endured this horror we went to the hospital, hubs and I sat next to what can only be described as THE SMELLIEST FAMILY ON THE PLANET. I mean good grief! I kept gagging it was so awful. Then what an onlooker would describe as a sweet old man hobbled past with a trolley. Except he wasn’t a sweet old man, HE WAS A SADISTIC OLD BASTARD parading a trolley crammed with sweets, chocolate and crisps THAT I COULDN’T EAT. Parading his wares to a room chock full of hungry preggos. Did I mention that in addition to fasting last night I now have to sit for two whole hours not eating before I get jabbed with a needle so they can send off my blood AND TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW. I’m getting strong movements from bump, pretty sure it’s trying to get hold of a phone so it can call childline.
I’m not in the hospital today, so far no doddery old farts pushing sweetie laden trolleys to take out although I have just seen a woman throw-up all over the reception desk.
And another lady shout to her son ‘Armani! Get here. (Addressing patients) You don’t have to fucking stare at me. I hate coming here every time I do it just takes the piss’
I’m hangry enough to tell her if she didn’t walk round shouting profanities, maybe people wouldn’t stare. But I don’t think she’d know what profanity means and I’m quite sure she’d hit me and I’ve been specifically told to keep still so I don’t wear the glucose off.
I’m now trying to decide if puking lady and shouty lady are better or worse than smelly family. But as this is the last baby I plan on having it’s not really something I have to worry about.
I’ve got an hour and 14 minutes to go then hubs is on strict instructions to take us to Mac Donald’s. I’m ordering the menu.
In other news:
The bald kitten’s eye seem miraculously non-slimy today.
Captain demonstrated his love for me by sleeping on my face last night.
The chair I’m currently sitting on in this Zeus forsaken waiting room is apparently my arse’s worst enemy.