Well, here we are 8 days into the new year and we’ve has our first incident.
I’ve been meaning to see the bestie for a while so we decided soft play would be the place to do it. Which actually means we have lots of half conversations and mid sentence stops in order to ensure the kids don’t do themselves a mischief. I have to say bestie was an absolute trooper as there were many parts of soft play that I simply didn’t fit into/through. So she was running around after two.
The Bald kitten decided he wanted to play in the more grown up side. So I was waddling around after him, and we found a big slide! Down we went. It was lots of fun and had bumps in it. ‘Let’s do it again!’ The Bald Kitten cried in excitement. So off we trotted. But the thing about soft play, especially large ones, is that they are labyrinths! So when we got to the top, we didn’t find the big slide with the bumps in it. We found a curly tube slide. Helicopter mum whispered in my ear ‘Don’t let him go down that!’ The part of me that is desperate to be less helicoptery asked the Bald Kitten, ‘Do you want to go down that slide?’
‘Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!’
I was torn, should I go down with him? But I’m practically 9 months pregnant, I can’t put him on my lap, what if I bump tummy. So I let him go.
It was hard to see from the outside just how steep and twisty the silde actually was. But as soon as The boy pushed himself off, he regretted it. I heard the squeaking of his hands on the plastic as he tried to stop himself. I heard a bump and screaming. He was bloody terrified. I’m calling down the tube ‘keep sliding darling!’ Thinking if he’s stopped halfway down how the fuck am I going to get him out. I felt panicked. He was balling and calling for me. And I’m lost at the top of a fucking soft play maze. Luckily, bestie just happened to be in the perfect place at the perfect time. At the bottom of the twisty bastard. She scooped up the boy and cuddled him whilst he wailed for me. I yelled down the slide ‘Is he out Katy?!’
I flew round to get to him with some hefty kicks from Little Pea, it think he/she was saying ‘You better not do anything like this to me when I’m out you neglectful cow!’
I got to the boy and we had cuddles and reassurance that he did not have to go down that slide again. I brought him some Quavers so he could have a snack and calm down. It was whilst I was paying I noticed the big red mark on his head. It seems he had a bump on the noggin on the way down.
The staff fetched an ice pack and I filled in an accident form. He sat having his crispy cheesy snack whilst I held the large blue ice pack to his head. Definitely feeling judged.
I think we’re going to have a nice bruise as a souvenir. A bad mum badge, if you like. And I’m thinking maybe helicoptering is the way forward.
In other news:
I had Braxton Hicks last night. I remembered how labour is like this only much, much more painful and started regretting some life choices.
I need to get an undated birth playlist but this means using iTunes. My nemisis.
I think it’s high time Daddy had the soft play experience.