I saw a t-shirt in a window on holiday that filled me with so much rage I simply had to write about it.
I was a cheap touristy gift with the words: Mummy said no so I asked Nanny and got two!
Or some similar shitty sentiment.
There are many variations, Nanny, Grandad, Aunty, Uncle, on t-shirts, hats and onesies.
Well let me tell you, in no uncertain terms: THIS SHIT HAS TO STOP!
I want to get a new t-shirt printed: Mummy said no, so I asked Nanny and she also said no because she respects my mother as a parent.
(Insert grandad/Aunty/Uncle as appropriate)
Parenting is hard enough, one day there’s just the two of you and suddenly two become three (or four or five) and all of a sudden it’s your responsibility to keep this tiny human alive and have it grow up into a responsible adult. You need help and support. Not contradictions.
If Mummy or Daddy say no, but Nanny/Grandad/Aunty/Uncle say yes, what kind of message is that sending to kids? Saying no isn’t always easy but what kind of adult are you creating by denying a child nothing? What kind of message are you sending by undermining parents? Worse still you’re putting it on a shit t-shirt!
On holiday my niece asked my sister for something, she said no. This was not the answer my niece was looking for so she asked me the exact same question, in-front of her mum. My reply was simply ‘What did Mummy just say?’ Niece knew she was facing a united front and didn’t ask again. (But made her feeling on the whole ‘no’ thing very clear!)
This is what children need to see. United fronts. It’s perfectly natural that if they want something they’ll keep asking the assembled adults until they get they response they’re looking for. But show respect for your child/sister/brother by following their wishes about their child. You might not agree with their choices, chances are your family didn’t agree with yours it seems to be a cycle. I am fully prepared for a few sceptical eyebrow raises when William brings home his own bundle of joy, but I’ll keep them to myself and if Will and his partner say no, it’ll be a no from me too kiddo.